Whiners and nitpickers need not bother: MadHouse serves their amazing sandwiches with attitude and no substitutions. There’s no need to substitute anything with bodacious combinations of flavor like their Breaded Palomilla Steak, a thinly pounded, hand-breaded cut of palomilla steak with mayo, mustard, onions and Swiss, or their Ass Kicking Egg Salad, a pumpernickel-hugged blast of edgy eggs and spices.

Try the king of all grilled cheeses, The Constipator, bound with Swiss, American, mozzarella, Romano, fontinella, garlic butter and pressed on Cuban bread, or eat what the King himself ate, creamy peanut butter and banana with Nutella, battered and deep fried, reverently called The Dead Elvis (served Fridays only).

Grab an overloaded Devil Crab as a side, then warn your sweet tooth about the Fair Food Dessert Menu, a deep fried candy store from heaven; try the Deep Fried Cheesecake, Twinkie, Snickers, or Key Lime Pie. Duuuuuude!